The People's Choice Awards.

I must have really felt like doing a bit of self loathing last night, because in addition to Tivo'ing "13:Fear is Real" and catching up with the latest episode of "90210", I decided to attempt to sit through The People's Choice Awards.

When I say "sit through" what I mean is that I Tivo it, and start watching it about an hour and half into the show. This way I can fast forward through all the crap and watch what I want. Well, considering that I only watched about 6 minutes total of a 2 hour awards show, should give you a bit of an idea of what this garbage was all about. Yes, I just called a show garbage. And I watch "The Bad Girl's Club".

Queen Latifah hosted this mess, which is strike 1 in my book. She has to be one of the most overrated performer's in Hollywood today. She can't act. At all. She's awful. Yet, for some reason she is continually given meaty(pun intended) roles, which she continually ruins. She's consistent. I'll give her that.

She started the show off in the audience telling me, the viewer, what a treat I was in for this year, and she galloped her way from Celebrity to Celebrity, as if to almost shout "Look! There's famous people here! Stay Tuned!" Every Celeb she approached looked mortified, and the inane banter she tried to pass off as comic relief was unbearable. I only WISH she would have tried to pull this fuckery with Heigl, who was in the crowd. Heigl would have taught that bitch a lesson in entertainment she would never forget. I can just imagine Latifah(I refuse to call anyone a Queen, with the exception of Zac Efron) trying to bounce banter off of Heigl. I'd give her a minute before she ripped Latifah's weave off, strung it around her neck, climbed on her back and rode her like the horse she is off into the sunset of LA. Needless to say, I fast forwarded through the first 20 minutes.

Carrie Underwood performed during the first segment(I don't understand THAT fascination), Ellen came out and did her same "Ellen" routine and Adam Sandler won an award. This was one of "those" shows. By that, I mean that you KNOW who is going to win, because the winner is the ONLY Nominee who attended.

I was fast forwarding through this mess like crazy, until 30 minutes in, when I saw her face...Heigl! I quickly realized that 27 Dresses was nominated for an award, and I hit play instantly. I knew it was going to win because Heigl doesn't go to an award show unless she wins. She's just that kind of "C". I couldn't help but think that Heigl was having a fantastic New Year's. This was her second award this week, and though it's not as highly regarded as a "C Award", it's still publicity.

Of course, 27 Dresses won, and Heigl pranced herself up to the stage with 4 or 5 other peons(cast members) and accepted her award...graciously. Ugh! WHAT THE FUCK?! Are you SERIOUS?! Who IS this?! You mean to tell me that Katherine Heigl, THE Katherine Heigl, was praised for something and she couldn't think of ANYTHING to complain about? She couldn't trash the movie at least once while accepting an award for it? She couldn't punch one of her co-stars in the privates or smash the award on the ground or curse out the audience? This is WHY she won the "C Award"! I'm offended. I should have given the award to Cindy. Heigl is not living up to her title, and she BETTER start being a little more Cunty if she wants to keep her name in my blog.

The only other things worth talking about are the fact that Dakota Fanning seemed to age 26 years overnight, and Reese Witherspoon warms my cold heart. Reese won for that dumb ass Christmas movie she did(again, ONLY at The People's Choice Awards), and got up on stage and treated it like a Nobel Prize. She was gracious and charming and the complete anti Heigl, which is why I don't understand why I enjoy her so much. She's such a prude. She's the type of girl that probably wears two pairs of panties to Church out of "respect". Heigl is the type of girl that is more likely to burn a church down before she steps foot in it, although the end result is the same either way.

All in all, I watched Heigl and Witherspoon's acceptance speeches, and cursed my TV out the rest of the time as it fast forwarded through EVERYTHING else.

If this is what I have to look forward to this Award Season, I'm better off watching that clip of Heigl serving that announcer a verbal beat down for pronouncing her name wrong continuously.

Actually, I think I'd do that anyway....